Thursday, April 22, 2010

Trying to do better.

Alright, so I suck at blogging. Oh well, if i'm really honest with myself than sucking at blogging is ok because i'm pretty sure that my blog isn't widely known. Then again that wasn't really the purpose, the purpose is to let those few who wanted, know how things are going. So sorry to the few, but i'm probably not going to get that much better at blogging.
Well i'm 2 months in and in, and i'm not ripped by any means, I have one friend and I don't even remember my last goal. No wait I do, i'm not in the top of my class for grades. I think I stopped being motivated that first week of doing nothing, the first test I read over the material and got 87% and the second test I didn't really study at all and got 84%, the last test I did study and got 97%. It was easy enough that I shouldn't have got anything wrong but I made stupid mistakes. If I study on this next test than I might be able to get into the top 10% Or so.
Anyway, At the moment I am at Camp Bullis. It's an Army base where we do some of our training. I think that most of the training is hands on, so we don't spend all day in a class, which should be nice. On the other hand it's starting to get hot so being outside and doing physical things isn't the most fun in thick ABU'S and battle rattle on. Oh well, only a little over 4 weeks and i'll be home!
I get about half way through a post and i'm tired of writing. So until the next time, hopefully there is a next time, at the rate of been making post's i'll be home by the next time I write.
I just noticed what the title of my post was. Trying to do better. I am trying to do better and have a better attitude while i'm here, and take some of the long, long moments that we have doing nothing and meditate on something. It's not always easy, sometimes I think maybe I have anger management issues. At times i'll I can think about while standing amidst so many DBA's (Dirt Bag Airman)is how much I just want to go over and throttle their throats! Instead I should just think of them as Gods children. Anyway i'm trying to do better at everything, so that I don't feel like i'm wasting so much time.

Monday, March 22, 2010

passed again and still sick

I don't know if I can do this for 9 more weeks. Not only is security forces training redundant, slow and unorganized, it seems like most of the military is that way, well at least the parts I have encountered so far. Annie and I still have yet to be paid since I started tech school on the 15th of Feb. Oh, Don't worry, I was insured a few weeks ago that we would be paid on the 19th...... Oh right, it's the 22nd today. Well now I have a lot of people working on it and should get paid by fri. So it's not as if I don't already hate this place, hate being away from my wife and kid, and stress over being here for 2 more months, now I have to stress over insufficient bank funds and knowing that my wife is fighting with finance because they can't figure things out. This place just keeps getting better and better.
Back on topic, i passed the latest test, it wasn't hard in fact i was sick all weekend so i didn't study at all.... and i still passed. I wish this was a self pace course so that i could just nock it all out and get home. Well I gotta get to bed, everyone pray that I get well soon, it sucks being sick here, they only try to cover up symptoms with ib profin something for the cough, and tylenol if the ibs dont work. Good night

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I Passed, and i'm sick

So I passed my first written test, I got an 88 percent so there goes the goal of being an honor grad, I should be disappointed but I really don't mind. The night before the test I woke up almost every hour thinking it was time to get up, and almost every time I went back to sleep I would have another bad dream about taking the test. I think I was a little stressed out, which in turn has probably contributed to me getting sick. I get home from school in the afternoon and my face is burning while the rest of me has the chills, head ache, and gross stomach. It is so nice having someone to take care of you when your sick( I miss you annie ) Being sick in training is the pits, because the last thing you want to do is go and see a doctor. If you do then you will miss time in class which means they will wash you back a week in training, and no one wants to be here any longer than they have to be.
One day at a time, I just have to take this place one day at a time. When you say 13 weeks it doesn't sound as long as 3 months, and then when it feels like I have already been here forever and then realize i'm not even half way through, well it seems a bit depressing. I'm not looking forward to running sprints in the morning while being sick, I don't look forward to sprints even when i'm not sick. 4:15 wake up is just way too early, ugh.

Monday, March 15, 2010

I'm still here!

Yup i'm still here. Having a positive attitude about tech school is not going extremely well. I'm currently at a mandatory study group, our instructors are a little worried about us passing our first test. In all honesty...... I have thought about throwing the test. What I mean is failing the test on purpose, all I have to do is fail the test a couple of times and they'll kick me out of the military. It used to be that they would just re-class you(put you into a different part of the Air Force) but now they're over stocked so they just kick you out. Anyway I have thought about failing the test on purpose, that is how much I hate being here. Actually, I think it's more the idea of being here. When I think about being here for 2 more months I want to cry, you would think that things would progressively get better but it's just the opposite, they just keep getting worse. Here are some comments from some of my fellow students..... never mind, I asked if they thought tech school was getting better or worse and all I got was a thumbs down. Well I won't purposely fail the test, i'll study and do my best, but it is extremely tempting. I can't wait to be not here in texas and to be home again with annie and asa. Well I gotta go study so I can do well on that test, I don't want to sell myself short. Thats a lie I really do, but won't because i'm practicing excellence in all I do. All talk more about what I think about the air force core values on my next post.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Blogging can be a bugger

Sorry I have not kept on blogging, it's been really hard to stay very motivated about anything lately. I haven't wanted to blog about much because everything kind of sucks at the moment. So i'm going to vent for a moment and then try to be positive.
The past few weeks have been, well to be frank they have been stupid. I have never wasted so much time in such a short amount of time ever in my life. And that is saying something, because I have played my fare share of video games and read my fare share of fantasy books, and I went to Basic Military training. So for the first week I was here I spent 4 days almost 8 hours a day sitting in a classroom doing nothing. The next week I did at least one day of the same, the rest of the week I attended classes that could have been done in a quarter of the time that it was done in. For example, fri. I missed the first half of the class ( I had a physical therapy appointment for my knee) and got there right after lunch. My instructor told me I was going to be put back in training because i missed a personal evaluation. Luckily I was able to do that evaluation in 5 min verses the three hours they spent on it during the morning. I was then able to go to the next class and do the next evaluation, we took another few hours and it could have been done in a few min. I promise i'm not that smart. Also last week I got to stand in formation for two and a half hours waiting for a bus to pick us up to go to class. Needless to say we were still able to finish on time that day. They must just be planning ahead for mishaps like that so that in case one happens then they will still have time to teach the stuff they need to. This last weekend we were on "lock down" because the dorms weren't clean enough, but here in the air force it's one flight and one fight. I understand the concept but i'm not sure it should apply to every scenario.
On the bright side, I shot expert on the m-9 hand gun. I still love the Air Force, it just sucks that security forces tech schoolers get treated like crap, and that security forces in general is such a crude and poor environment. But from now on i'm going to try and focus on some of my goals and update you on them, which means I need to go work out right now.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I Passed.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Team 1

I'm finding it hard to focus on positive things here in San Antonio. It is so easy to focus on the things that suck, and that of course makes things seem even worse, and the negativity feeds on itself until things seem almost unbearable. I remember before I came here that I thought to myself, it can't be half as bad as Basic Training, and it's not. I can talk to Annie every day, we video skype, so not only that but I get to seee her everyday. I get off duty every night at least by around 7 ( so far ) infact she is calling me on on skype right now. I am going to try and focus on the positive.